Ok, players, GMs, and assorted knuckleheads. This is the place to find Dirty Rotten Evil Prick-like stunts to pull, during the game. These have worked, both through my personal experiences, and first-hand accounts. Be prepared; this is about bad stuff, too. Expect humor. Buckle up. Enjoy the Ride.

Note: This text was copied from someone else without their permission and is only for personal use of the players within our gaming group.  The server where the page originated was slow.

1.) Surrounded by the enemy, back is to a wall, and it's looking grim? Give them the PC leader  of the group. If you're the leader, use the weakest member. Hey, it might work.

2.) The mission is a failure, and you can't face the prospect of returning to the meeting point with your employer, to face a certain death? Fake success. Forge the prize. If they catch on, put a bullet in their head. Ought to keep them wondering.

3.) Running out of ammo, and they've got bigger guns? Shoot gas tanks, hostages, store fronts, anything. Bring in the cops, fire department, anyone. Let them sort it out, while you reload.

4.) So you caught yourself a supernatural creature, and have no one to show it to, who isn't involved in a potential cover up? Here's a thought: parade it around town, in a Pope-mobile like vehicle. Good for a silver-chained Garou, or nocturnal critters like vampires. Let people touch them, beat them with sticks, whatever. Videotape it, post it on the Net, and get rich, selling the footage. No one said you had to die poor, y'know?

5.) Not a weapon in sight, and you're expecting foul-tempered company? Here's a thought. Turn the environment against them. If expecting Garou, use a bit of work to shred silverware, and sharpen some bamboo into a suitable set of spears. Fold coffee cans in half, for popping tires. Fill bottles with oil, shredded rags, and gasoline. Seal, and place near the entrances. In other words, fight dirty. REALLY DIRTY.

6.) Want to get information out the supernatural critter, and running out of ideas? Try using a cattle prod in new, and interesting ways. Failing that, try bleach. Then, a racial fear. Like a silver nitrate enema. OR a wood splinter bath (fill a tub with alcohol and shredded wood). Ouch. Yup. They'll talk. You just got to give them the urge to share, is all.

7.) No vehicle? If your playing a Streetwise  2+, try using that little bit of a criminal in all of us to carjack. Yeah, I know, it's pretty fucked up, but hey.. You *do* want a car in a hurry, right?

8.) Never underestimate the power of the armed services. But, keep in mind they are still human beings. Exploit that. Use the local National Guard outpost as a staging grounds for equipment raids. Hey, for sick fun, join, and get legitimate access.

9.) Need to hide a body in a hurry, and you don't have anything more than the clothes it's dressed in? Well, look no further. Stick it on a park bench. Make it look like a derelict. Rely on people's innate sense of "not my problem". It can go undisturbed for up to three days, in a real life city. In a World of Darkness city, I don't want to know how long it'll sit there.

10.) Arming up, and low on funds? Use two kinds of ammo. Typically, you'll find two ammunition types fill all the needs of the group; if you have three people packing Uzi's, another two have Glock 9's, and you're carrying one of the six shotguns, it looks like you can buy yourself three boxes of 50 9mm rounds, and a bandolier of 12 gauge buck and slugs.

11.) Use the same kind of weapon as the enemy, whenever possible. This makes reloading in the field one hell of a lot easier. That, and your gunfire sounds like their gunfire. Keeps them guessing. Steal anything as you move, leave nothing as you pass.

12.) Boobytrap all the dead enemy. Leave them nothing; if they have a bunker, and you're on your way out, make it go BOOM! Gives them something to think about. Be petty; be efficient.

13.) Aim for the chest; if you miss, you're hitting a limb, rendering them one-quarter of the way useless. Use dangerous ammo; homemade is bad. Buy quality goods. Like Black Talons.

14.) Remember: if they capture you alive, it is your solemn responsibility to ruin their lives. They post a single guard, snuff or cripple him. If they post two, do your best to get them at each other's throats. If they are transporting you, try to down the vehicle. Or, just render it uninhabitable. You'd be surprised how a little vomit can ruin a prisoner transfer vehicle.

15.) If they are holed up in a large building, and ain't coming out, with no movement showing any of them entering it, it's time for some real fun. Use Political Ties/Allies to cut off the water and power. Lay siege to it; go medieval.  Throw dead animals in through the windows; a little simple bioweapons warfare should keep them hopping. When you're ready to move in, make the entrance one-way. A wrecking ball and fire truck are a good combo; hole in the fifth floor, and the ladder drops you right inside the building. Then, remove the ladder.

16.) When fighting on the open road, keep your eyes open for opportunities to make the fight last as little time as possible. If they pull behind, swerve to the side, and let your car get t-boned by theirs. It'll take them off the road, and you have a good chance of living through it, if you play your cards right.

17.) If they have heavy weapons, and are firing from behind good cover, impersonate their spotter. Arrange for him to get an artillery shell for himself. Then, they send out another; repeat process, until they fight on a more level playing field.

18.) Need medical care, but can't go into a hospital? Look up local doctors' home addresses;  make your own house call. Bring supplies; ambulances are a good source. So are veterinarian supply stores. Be creative; not everything is covered by even the most generous HMO.

19.) Looking for the hard to find heavy weapon? Get drunk with a local staff supply sergeant at the local military base's watering hole. This is self-explanatory.

20.) You want a better library? Steal from your Mentor. Sure, he'll be pissed, but then give it back, once you've got Xerox copies of everything. Maybe he'll find it funny, and you can laugh about it together. Or, maybe he'll want to kill you. It's a toss-up. Feeling lucky?

21.) If you're up against the organized crime groups, consider yourself a dead man. If you're a Mage, let Paradox take you to a Paradox Realm. Those, you can escape. If Garou, stick with the Umbra for a while. If Vampire, well.. Better luck next time, sucker.

22.) If the opposition is ready for your arrival, and you know ahead of time, fuck with them. Don't go. Period. At all. Catch them as they wander off, confused as to why you didn't try to catch them with a surprise during the planned assault. Better still, get to them before they can even leave their respective homes, and beat them soundly with a blunt object.

23.) Attention S-Mart Shoppers: the one stop shopping spot for all your assault needs. Clothing, ammunition, some firearms ("S-Mart's own Winchester Repeater, Lever-Action"), camping gear, housewares, and a good place to set up shop, if you can find one with a tool shed/shop nearby. Saw down the shotguns, hand load the ammo, sharpen the wooden stakes; in short, get ready to rumble, S-Mart style.

24.) Use any job to your full advantage: if you're working as a cashier, map people's progress, financially-speaking, by the purchases. Turn the info over to the team's analyst, see what he comes up with. If your a line cook in a restaurant, poison food for your target. In short, never give the enemy a moment's rest.

25.) If you find sensitive documents, and it would damage the reputation of the supernatural target group's public image, head to Kinko's, or some other copying place. Run five thousand copies, and pay local derelicts a nickel a piece to post them around town.

26.) Want to deny access to an area, but haven't got much in the way of either funds or equipment? Use the locals. Things along the lines of "community service car washes", "outdoor auctions", and "fundraiser in the park". Hey, it's not like you're sending them out to die. It's an unplanned, but fun mundane event. Your enemies are the bad guys, and this way, everyone there will know this. Hey, you might find a new friend waiting in the wings there.

27.) Fun idea: they have a hostage from your team. Take six of their support staff, send them to them in little boxes. Pump the hostages for information (see #6 for ideas how).  If they care for the hostages, they'll negotiate. If not, well, here's hoping you don't like the one(s) they took.

28.) Found the lair to the local beasties? Call in for reinforcements. Lots of them. Use public media to your advantage. "If you think you're man enough, come to the Old Factory outside of town, for the Real Man Challenge. Five dollars off your admission fee if you bring two or more friends." They don't call 'em cannonfodder for nothing.

29.) Need to disguise yourself in hurry? Use some simple special effects gear (there is actually a recipe for synthetic flesh that uses nothing more than bubblegum, water, cotton balls, and a microwave). Look disfigured, wear bandages. Claim to be in recovery from plastic surgery.

30.) No money, and no time to wait for Resources to clear? Try your hand at robbing a store. (Pulp Fiction's opening scene is a great example) Or, for the squeamish, ask the local bank to "loan" you some. Claim it's for an auto loan, or mortgage payment.

31.) Ouch. Wounded, and not going to live much longer? Simple solution: take as many of them with you as you can (Bravos, Martyrs, and "hero types" take note). Die legendary.

32.) Fame is your friend. Bilk your fans for money, housing, equipment, and the like. Hey, your famous. Famous people get away with this kind of stuff all the time. Hey, you could even get away with murder. Theoretically.

33.) Lie detector preparation: drop acid before taking the test. That should fuck with their heads. "Where were you on the night of July 9th, 1998?" "I just ate my cat. Ask me why."

34.) Hunted in the city, with nowhere to turn for help? Go on an Outward Bound journey. Pack light, arm up, and don't look back. Chances are, they have enemies outside of the cities, too.

35.) Never underestimate the power of a hired hooker as a distraction. Nuff said.

36.) Shopping tip: when buying the team's gear, go to Mom and Pop-type stores, the ones without cameras. Use stolen credit cards, instead of your own. If they have a contact with a credit agency, you'd be screwed. Think ahead: it's worth your ass if you don't.

37.) Sniper trouble? If communications isn't a problem, call the local news company, tell them you're the sniper; make outrageous demands. Let everyone know where "you" are. If it's a difficulty, communication-wise, try setting something on fire, and throwing it away from your covered position. with luck, it'll bring in the cops and fire department once it spreads.

38.) Ball bearings; your one true friend. Good for slingshot ammo (a light, traceless weapon, if used properly), fun on stairs, great for pouring into bottles (prior to throwing them), and who could resist the look of surprise as Mr. Celerity tries his damnedest to gain footing, chasing you over a paved, smooth surface? Plus, if you pack them into a sock, they make a good sap.

39.) He's got armor or Fortitude? Don't try to punch holes through him; just his environment. Drop heavy stuff on him. Bury him alive, to be killed at your leisure. If bullets ain't going to hurt him, I bet you it'd sure fuck up his ability to function if you shoot out his gas tank.

40.) Too many of the bas guys, and the reinforcements are late? Switch uniforms. Look like them, feign injury, and walk through to their back lines. Hey, if they had brains, they'd be on your side, right?

41.) Need a good weapon, for all environments? Shotguns. Cheap to feed, easy to care for, and ammo is abundant, customizable, and almost universal. Sawed down, long arm, or "muled", they rule the battlefield. Almost totally waterproof, easily silenced (use a pineapple, with a hole drilled in the top. BLAM! Fruit salad.), and hell on wheels at point blank. (Note: "Mule": Shotgun with a barrel only 3/4" longer than the end of the shells loaded into it. Concealed easily, loud, but nasty if used at point-blank. Can put a dent in someone's head the size of a melon, making identification very difficult)

42.) Knives. If you're good, they're great. If you're not, they'll get you hurt. Good idea: buying a pair of sturdy butcher knives (those things are sharp!). Bad idea: studio steel (shops dedicated to cutlery can tell you what this means, if you don't already). Go for common; fuck exotic. If you need a silver blade, buy a set at a garage sale.

43.) Firearms: for a decent gun, for all types of players, try the .357 Magnum revolver. Small enough to be fired by small-framed characters, with a vast array of munitions. Scoped, with a flashlight under the barrel, it will lend itself to all kinds of choice lines. That, and it fits in a good sized pocket. Let the Beretta junkies go for fast firing. Slow and steady wins the race.

44.) Rifles: tough call. Automatic, or single shot? If you expect to fight mass troops, go for a battle rifle (M-16s and AK-47s). If it's urban, forest, or mountain terrain, or the enemy is sparse, try your hand at a long rifle. Like, for example, the Weatherby Mark V.

45.) Know the other guy's phobias? If it's an insect-based one, go for a buying spree at the local pet store. "Gee, mister, why do you want ten thousand crickets?" "It's for a friend." Be creative; it pays to think in disturbed ways.

46.) For all you Black Dog types: if you see one of those idiots waltzing around with their Tradition, Clan, Tribe, Breed, Auspice, or whathaveyou.... Put a fucking bullet in their head. Warn the others: advertise, and get planted. It's hard enough to keep the Veil, Rule of Shade, or Masquerade without those morons letting any Tom, Dick, and Technocrat to find.

47.) Black Dog II: never underestimate the power of a "cleaner". They literally work miracles. (note: "cleaner": Someone who cleans up all proof of a violent confrontation from an area; smart, creative, and resourceful. Think of Mr. Wolf from Pulp Fiction. Yes; he did all that, and never had to even get his hands dirty. Plus, he dressed snazzy)

48.) You don't always need to pack a gun. If subtlety is called for, carry a tennis ball. If you think it's a ridiculous weapon, let your friend throw it as hard as they can into your groin. Or at your car window. See the point? It even works if you bounce around a corner (yeah, the diff goes up. Deal with it.) Plus, it's concealable, cheap, and difficult to prove otherwise, legally.

49.) Black Dog III: When brawling, aim for the groin, eyes, and finger joints. Break anything that gets near you. He swings, duck and punch the groin. They sweep, leap at them, tackle-style. They brought a knife, throw your keys at their head. Rules of physical engagement? Fuck 'em. No such rules in my book. Bite. Claw. Gouge. Spit. Rake. Break bones. Fight dirty.

50.) Background music. This is as important as any other aspect of the setting: you walk into a club, play Lords of Acid. Car chase? Filter. Shootouts go great with White Zombie or Marilyn Manson. Ditto for holdups, robberies, and breaking/entries: get yourself a copy of Nine Inch Nails "Downward Spiral". Personal favorites of mine are an aquatic adventure, with They MIGHT Be Giants "Flood", a running chase across America, listening to a compilation album of Denis Leary.. Top of them all, though, goes for a Syndicate Enforcers-only  game, set in the 1950s, listening to the Cherry Poppin' Daddies, "Zoot Suit Riot".

51.) Want a quick way into an electronically locked room? Use a lamp cord to short out the card reader/keypad. If it doesn't automatically open (like a door would, when it senses an electrical fire), it'll attract people who'll investigate. By default, they will need access to that room (because the fire might be because of something on the other side of said door).

52.) Need cash quick? Try using that wicked Computers + Intelligence on a friendly neighborhood ATM. Hey, if it worked for John Connor (ala Terminator 2), it'll damn well work for you, right? Barring that, use a tow truck to pull that mother out of the ground, and grab the non-dye packed dough. It's also in your best interest to lay an escape route.

53.) Need a good way to keep the bad guys on their toes? Use terror tactics from various armed conflicts around the world. It's said that no one likes finding a friend hanging in front of their door, suspended by his own intestines. Try it out; form your own opinion. If that's too graphic, try digging up the local dead, and putting them in the target's home(s). Fun.

54.) The guy's too hard to just keep beating with your fist, eh? Use a new method; alternate between shouting *directly* in his ear, and kicking his groin. One will catch his attention, whereas the other will definitely pique his interest. Or, if you have a grip on him from behind, try something called "ponystrangling"; knee his lower back, and shake him like a rag doll.

55.) If you need a good way to dispose of a weapon cheaply (one with too many murders on it's litany of sins, for example), try a good pile/puddle of thermite. It's cheap, easy, and *totally* decimates the fingerprints, DNA samples, and the like. Total decimation of all traces back to you. This method also works for bodies, if you have enough of it.

56.) Cheap Bastard's Guide to a City's Underworld: kidnap a punk, and work him/her over for information. When they give you a name of the next level up in the food chain, find them. Repeat process. Eventually, you'll be Streetwise. You also might be a very spotty target.

57.) Drugs: if you want the goods ones, try the legal ones. No street drug, regardless of the hype, is worth it. Real life experience teaches one this lesson; not a single person owes their fame and self-worth to marijuana, peyote, or XTC. Try the *really* good drugs; nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine. Any of these works wonders, properly applied.

58.) Nicotine: in cigarette form, it can be a timer (how many smokes til the op), a detonator (placed in a pack of matches as a fuse), used to light a small area (to read a sign/letter), or, as a last ditch weapon. Get the tip glowing hot, long, and very pointy. Cup it in your hand, and smash it into the face of your assailant. Results:busted nose, heated ash, and lots of pain.

59.) Alcohol: in liquor form, this stuff is worth more than gold, to quote Cabbie from Escape From New York. And, indeed, it is. Use it to help light a campfire, or as an emergency Molatov cocktail. It also has medicinal uses; painkiller, treatment for exposure to extreme cold, or as a disinfectant. It's also a good way to relax, properly applied. Use wisely.

60.) Caffeine: a cheap, legal stimulant. Nuff said. It comes in about a dozen forms, ranging from slap patch, food products, drinks of all stripes, and even, oddly enough, a powder form. The powder form is useful for slipping into a normal drink (non-alcoholic only) to boost it's efficiency. Or, as a last ditch, you can add it to coffee, making a tar-like sludge. Shiver.

61.) Cheap weapons (for Dummies): cotton pants can be turned into a viable weapon, provided you have shoes on. Tie the legs off, put a shoe in each leg, and clench with the belt loops. Good as a club. Alternately, it can be turned into strips, and made into a garotte. Fun.

62.) Cheap weapons (for Dummies II): it's been said that a thousand throats can be cut in a single night by a running man. I'll bet he could do fifty percent better if he did so while using Ginsu materials, decent athletic footwear, and a healthy dose of common sense. If you're doing a suprise attack on the move, keep your momentum up by not stopping for a protracted battle. Keep running; make a second pass, not a first stop. Get them on the way back.

63.) House paint can be your friend; pour it into a gas tank. Spread it on a victim as a warning. Throw it out the back of a van on the move. Hurl it into a victim's living room window; they'll *never* get the paint out of the drapes. Not all damage is direct; it's more costly to be slick. But the results are *way* more satisfying. Fuck 'em if they can't take a hint.

64.) Spray paint: a cure-all if ever we've heard of one. Useful as mace, territory marking, or for seriously putting the works on someone's car. Want to get even with a Bad Guy? Spray paint hate slogans on his car. Stuff that the locals would find offensive. Stuff that'd make a skinhead scream for mercy. Stuff that his fellow supernatural critters would kill over.

65.) Thought for the day: hide in places they don't want to look, if you're on the run. Homeless shelters. Public restrooms. A fish market's spoilage bin. On a garbage scow. Hey, while you're there, ask the ST to give you a few  Perception + Scrounging rolls. You'd be surprised, what gets thrown out these days. Fun.

66.) Close quarter combat tip: when kicking a seriously injured opponent, aim for places of interest. Like, the groin. Eyes. Teeth. Y'know. Places you think he'd kick you, given the chance. Fight as hard as you can; it's the hesitant dweeb that gets offed. They won't hesitate to off you, either. It's the way of the world; injure, or be injured.

67.) Insertion into enemy territory looks difficult? Bah; use common sense. Invisible becomes invincible with only a few short steps. Try taking on the disguise of a fun-lovin' cabbie. Pick an American car built before seat belt laws; something practically made out of cast iron. Something that can double as a battering ram. The more dents, the better the camoflauge. That, and the neat little plexiglass separation screen can be a handy thing.

68.) Want a free ticket to take out your opponent in one easy shot? Load squirtgun with ammonia and chlorine. The mix is called phosgene gas; lethal shit. Ffear a botched to-hit.

69.) How to hit the guy in the back, when he's facing you; use the buddy system. One person gets him to turn around with a tap on the shoulder from behind, and you have the miracle shot. Boom; one hit to the head with a claw hammer, and down he goes. Repeat, if it's not enough. Or, use a shotgun. Either way, icky. Personally, I use a shotgun, but that's me.

70.) Wake Up Call #312: want to make an impression on the guy, without breaking his skull (tip #69)? Try gaining access to his domicile, and waking him up with a sledgehammer blow to his headboard, pinning a iron fencetop post to his headboard. Add a note to taste. Enjoy.

71.) How to Win People and Influence Minds, Volume 1: want to break someone's head? Kidnap his family, and put them up in a luxurious hotel in the Bahamas. Tell *him* the rotten meat he's smelling from under his blindfold is his family. Just as he's about to break free and kill you, drop a curtain, revealing his family, on the beach outside, enjoying the sun and surf. Then smile, and wave to them, as they watch Daddy ponystrangling you.. You... The benefactor; the one with the too-slick smile, the wads of cash, the tuition funding. Daddy.

72.) If Trick #71 didn't work, try this... Replace his family's happy future with actually turning them into rotten meat, but convincing him they're in the Bahamas, enjoying the good life. The subtle differences must be experienced to be believed.

73.) Embarassing Photo Ops: bribe a local cop into handcuffing your mark to a prostitute, long enough for your paparazzi opportunistic self to get a gaggle of Polaroids. For real fun, make the working girl a working *boy*. Chances are, his boss won't like the photos, especially if you fax them during a vital meeting. Bonus; 'X' out the faces, so it lets his mind wander on when you're going to drop the axe. They will break; trust me. Everyone breaks. *Everyone*.

74.) Fun Fact: most people will grab the first thing on their nightstand, and drink it, if they left something there the night before. Adjust the temperature in their room, and bring it to a boil. Add a judicious use of the chemical handler's card, and you've got the recipe for disaster. I personally recommend using something like hydrochloric acid. Fun stuff.

75.) Fun with the government: people need radios. Radios can be used to track you, if it's in the hands of the police. Buy a police scanner; learn the lingo, become well-versed in radio communications. Ask pointed questions of police officers. If ever you should happen to obtain a police car, use it to full advantage. Call in the car chasing you as stolen.

76.) Get Out of Jail Free: need an exit from a jail/prison/holding cell? Use what your people are good at. For Vamps, that's the "play dead" bit. For Garou, it's that "Crinos in a cell" trick. Mages.. well, they have about sixty three billion methods, so I won't bother. Fae? Just.. die.

77.) How to Win the Fight, Before it Starts, part I: if it's a formal fight, mutter that if you lose, you'll pay six crackheads to rape his family. He'll lose, or break the rules trying to kill you. Either way, it's a win for you. Unless he kills you. Then, it's a win, but for him, instead.

78.) How to Win the Fight, Before it Starts, part II: if it's an informal fight, as in a back alley brawl, the rules are changed. Let him know you'll have his family raped by crackheads if you *win*. He'll fight hard, and make a mistake like leaning over you and gloating. Time enough to aim a shot for the bridge of his nose. Sucker punches work miracles.

79.) Never underestimate the power of your environment to provide a worhtwhile weapon. Car attennas hurt like hell if you whip 'em at a fella's eyes. Ditto for a thrown hubcap. Use a door as a swinging bashig device. Pin a guy with a flag pole. Throw a lawn gnome at his head. For real sick fun, start packing a sock full of broken glass. Whap. Ouch.

80.) Improvising a retreat: need an exit? Look around for inobvious methods of retreat. Like access ducts, HV/AC systems, sewer outlets. Ditto for under-the-floor crawlspaces; found in large homes worldwide. Or, if it's in an office block, calculate the odds of surviving a drop out a window, versus whatever threat you're trying to out run. Do the math.

81.) Whenever possible, lift tactics from the winners of wars, and not from the shemps who lost them. Think victory, not style or entertainment value. Movies like "Saving Private Ryan", "The Thin Red Line", "Glory", and "Platoon" are a good place to start. Yeah, I know, we *technically* lost in Vietnam, but there's no sense ignoring winning tactics used by Americans. If it's a knockdown, dragout, no-holds-barred fight, get historic on 'em.

82.) Sick Evil Prank #980: capture a "baddie", hang him/her upside down in a vat filled with earthworms in a mixture of water and soil (90% earthworms/10% wet soil). Leave them with a respirator for oxygen; allow them to hang there for about ten hours. Let them go; their fractured minds will do the rest. See? Nothing died. Well, except their poor widdle brain.

83.) Severely Disturbed Tactics: clearing a room is an easy task, if you use some primal fears. Send in someone in convincing makeup muttering about his new infectious disease, and how cool it'd be to give it to the folks in the target area. For realism, make them a leper; special effects makeup, some bandages, and a handful of rotten meat. Ick. In a big way.

84.) "And now, sports...": using the public media to fuck over your opponent is a great way to send a message; fuck with me, and you're on the evening news. Find a vampire's haven; send a film crew in as "investigative journalists, seeking a reclusive witness". Ditto for Garou; hmmm.. why not just send them into the Caern you've had your eye on? Could be profitable.

85.) Lines to remember, if the other guy doesn't seem to believe you're serious...
    "Do you think I'm playing a headgame here?" (shoot an underling of their's)
    "Is my 'fucking with you' light on again?" (shoot a second underling)
    "Do I fucking stutter?" (shoot the third underling)
    "Now, would you like me to pop a cap in a fourth fuckup, or would you like to talk?"
By the time you have snuffed the second guy, they're definitely listening to you.

86.) Lines to remember, if they pull the above stunt on you:
    "Yes." (shoot their closest compatriot in the face)
    "In a big way." (shoot their next in command)
    "Now, shut the fuck up, or I'll put the hurt on you." (shoot them in the calf)
    "Are we crystal fucking clear here yet?"
If they haven't gotten the hint after the first guy that *you're* the biggest problem in the room, they will definitely take notice of that possibility as soon as you shoot their calf.

87.) Heavy Duty Researching, Made E-Z: hire a research firm to assist. Subcontract out a designer who's done similar work. Hit the books; hit the streets. Find all possible links to *everything*. Build the idea from the ground floor up; be intimately acquainted with the work itself. Leave nothing to chance; know all on the topic, no matter how small or insignificant.

88.) These Boots Weren't Made For Walkin'; buy a pair of steeltoed boots. Some cleated boots worn by loggers. Golf shoes. Something you can "leave an impression" with. Invest in a pair of "fourwheeled" rollerskates. Ouch; one kick, and it's assault with a deadly weapon. But it works. For a lot of reasons, and in a lot of ways, it's one of the best tools for the job.

89.) Area Denial Made E-Z: barbed wire only works so well. Ditto for gaurd dogs. You want to make an area un-fuckin'-touchable by the local supernatural threat? Try inviting three influential crime lords over for tea and crumpets. By the time the limos stop pulling up, the goobers who've been casing your place are strung up by Johnny Q. Mafioso and his Quartet of Fuckin' Doom. Remember; organized crime lords have armies to spare. Always. Enjoy.

90.) Places to Set Up Shop 101: abandoned warehouses are deathtraps. Ditto for penthouses. Try a crackhouse. They're fuckin' fortresses. The police have designed tanks to break the tougher ones open. Wow. It takes a fuckin' *tank*. Do the math, genius. The other guy's probably gonna need one, if you set yourself up in one of these places. OK, so it's not ethical, moral, or even particularly safe... but then again, neither are most player's *normal* homes.

91.) Cheap and Efficient Weaponry, Volume II: invest in that shotgun mentioned previously. Buy a chainsaw. That's right. A chainsaw. A smart opponent runs like Hell once that sucker comes out of hiding. No need to swing it; he knows if he runs and stops to attack, you'll nail him through a sheetrock wall. If he approaches, he risks joining the Vienna Boys Choir. Whee.

92.) Never underestimate the power of a kitchen to provide a lethal weapon. Skillets, cleavers, pots filled with hot liquids, angry ethnic cooks bearing cutlery; you get the idea. Either stay out of them, or hole up in one during a chase scene.

93.) Outdoor Survival Tip: caves make good hideouts, when the chips are down. On the plus side, some come with built-in alarms.. bats. They produce a strong smelling excreta, yes, but it does lend itself to new ideas. Like, for example, what to do if you catch fifty of them, to be released in the vehicle of your opposition. Wham. Insta-confusion. That, and it's cozy.

94.) How to handle Johhny Q. Mad Scientist: bomb him at a distance. To Hell with exploring the ruins of Castle "X", trying to find the mysterious Dr. Whatever. If he's a threat, pull a Ripley on 'em; "Nuke them from orbit; it's the only way to be sure". Bing. Case closed.

95.) How to Handle Johnny Q. Vampire: arson. Pitchforks and torches-style mob at his door. Dousing the place with gasoline from a water cannon. Using inventive methods of explosive delivery; mailbombs, catapulted munitions, pitched grenades. Why go hand to hand with them? They might win that way. Why risk it, when you can use a winning method?

96.) How to Handle Johnny Q. Garou: silver galore. Silver cleats. Silver spikes on your leather jacket. Silver bullets in both of your Uzi's (go Chow Yun Fat on his ass!). Five of your best buddies packing autoshotguns, firing through walls; by simple statistics, fifty rounds each, from five guys equals 250 rounds per session. Five sessions per hour, until target is destroyed, or munitions run low. Do not retreat when empty; retreat when 1/2 empty.

97.) How to Handle Johnny Q. Changeling: iron fence tops on your boots. Iron rounds from a pair of Ingram Mac-11's fired from a briefcase. Cast iron slugs, from a double-barrelled shotgun. Iron garotte wire. Iron, iron, iron. Go nuts. Unless he's iron resistant. Then go steel.

98.) Psychological Warfare, in a Siege Situation; Noriega knows this one *real* well. Spice Girls. Hanson. Backstreet Boys. Jar Jar's voice clips from Star Wars: Phantom Menace. Baz Luhrman's "Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen). Play them 24-7, at high volume. Play 'em backwards twice a day, to keep them edgy. Or, hire a sucky industrial band, with no talent.

99.) Zen and the Art of Weapons Maintenance; buy a gun cleaning kit. Yeah, I know it's not a dirty trick, but it's for the realism of you "Firearms Pool of 8+" types. No self-respecting person owning a gun goes without cleaning it. The dirty trick part is the one your storyteller will pull on you, in the moment of truth. "What do you mean, it just *clicks*?"